& she never wants to come back down...
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start living

i learned something important .. i never realized it before .. i drowned in tears && depression. but that's not life. so often you hear "stop crying && learn to life" .. sure you know they're right. that's not the life you wanna life .. but you can't change anything if you didn't want. but i want. i never wannted to be so sad. i cleaned my room && found pieces of my past i lived in depression .. it was creepy .. maybe it's hard to start a "new" life .. but you'll never know if you didn't try .. i wanna give you all strenght tat you need. try it .. you can still go back .. there're thousand reasons to be sad ..

it's strange to talk 'bout depression .. i mean, i know how it is to feel lonely, ugly && sure i know how it is to hate yourself. i wrote poems, but i never talked to anyone 'bout it. i still don't talk 'bout it.

well what i learned from this time .. it's wasted time. this time is gone. it woun't come back. maybe two years && i did nothing. just hope for my dreams to come true .. without do something. just hope .. every fucking day, but real life keeps going on .. without me. i lived there in my own  world, 'cause my dreams were perfect. but twaking up was hard. wake up let's you fall. you're responsible for your phantasie && your life. you have to take your life into one's own hands to make your whishes come true!!

sure it sounds as a matter of course ..  but sometimes life is so hard && your feelings act without your mind && your emotions go fragile. i hope for everyone who read this, that he or her is able to live with it .. 'cause everyone knows how it feels .. to be broken, abused, weak, nasty, wounded, bashful .. it's a long list. but sometimes you can't stand it. you lie in your bed && all you do is crying the whole night. maybe you start writing poems. maybe you take refuge in your music. maybe you drink too much. maybe you cut your skin .. just to feel better. && sure te time will heal your wounds. && sure there those scars. you get used to the pain you feel every day. after all you push your feelings away. you never wanted to be hurt again. you remain aloof of feeling. sure, i know how it feels .. but time's still passing by.

&& if you manage to displace what you felt, you'll never forget. && after some time you remember everything. then you wanna start a new life.
then you start to be sorry for the time you loved to decay in anguish of mind && your broken heart!!
i want you to life!!
it's never too late!!

© mss.take